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"You won't win silver medals at the Olympic Games unless you're the very, very best." - Brendan Foster, BBC1 (source:Colemanballs, Private Eye)

Jail for 2-wife squaddie

Paul Swaby, 24, found himself jailed for four months for getting married twice, once in 1998 and again in 2001. His mistake was not getting divorced from his first wife … oh and then running off from his second wife to have an affair with another woman, which lead his second wife to look into his past. In an interesting, perverse twist, he turned up with his girl at court - perhaps one of the reasons he was sent down.

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