Anyone for sauteed penis? : Simon Perry: Schemes, dreams & trivia

"There's no magic formula that says A plus C equals X" - Terry Venables (source:Colemanballs, Private Eye)

Anyone for sauteed penis?

5th December 2003 by Simon

[If you are squeamish, I would not read this]

You may be aware of the trial starting in Germany of Armin Miewes, a self-confessed cannibal, who over a period of time, had email contact with over four hundred people and met a number who wanted to be treated as a animal and get prepared for slaughter.

The Australian has a very matter of fact reporting of the start of the trial. I found the further I read, the more incredulous I became at the mixture of extreme brutality mixed with normal life, with no clear distinction between the two

One allowed himself to be hung on a hook in Clingfilm awaiting slaughter. “He changed his mind and said it was too cold to be killed, so I drove him back to the station,”

A pretty weak excuse, by lucky escape methinks. Other had a more elaborate plans

A man identified as Andreas from Regensburg wanted to be collected in a cattle wagon, pushed into a cage in Meiwes’s improvised attic “slaughter room” and given the chance to lick his bloodstained rubber boots.

An unidentified German living in London visited Meiwes and wanted to be handcuffed and have labels pinned to his body marking him out for butchery.

“Later we went to watch a film,” Meiwes said. “I think it was Ocean’s Eleven with George Clooney.”

The person who was eventually killed, Bernd-Jurgen Brandes, who after selling his car, writing a will and taking the day off work to sort out what he called ‘a personal matter’, popped over to Armin’s. After a little chat, he flopped his schwanstucker on the kitchen table and Armin chopped it off, dropped it in to a frying pan with garlic, salt and pepper. Becoming faint and thinking he might not make it, Bernd-Jurgen became impatient to chomp his chopper and eat it semi-cooked - which annoyed him. I have sympathy for him, imagine how disappointing that must be - a one off chance for success, that didn’t deliver.

Too strange.

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